Naija dey over do their own sef

Hahaha so i may get a few biffs from my girl friend for this blog....buh its something i just had to  get off my chest....really

So like every other country and city night out, me nd a friend decided it would be wise to hang out with a couple of drinks nd fine women company....which i must say was highly required. Only question would be where this hanging be best located. Hmmm couple of phone book searches and we were informed about this party at the infamous ELEGUSHI beach. So yh we hopped in our fancy cars and did a 100mph on the third mainland bridge minutes later we were at lekki and then hello to the sweet sights and sounds of bar 360. Good music followed with drinks and fine women to dance with....i must say it was really fun.

Well it was fun on the beach till it was time to head on home...but you know how we say in the uk..."the night is still young at 1am" and it was just 11pm. So on to the next agenda, and homeboy says he needs to splash it....whatever that means lol. Heading out of the island, and don't ask me where this idea came from, but we both agreed that a curtain call for the night would be at a strip club.....big mistake or maybe a chance to witness how Nigeriians handle their own type of strip tease i guess.

How i wish cameras were allowed at the club, cos words can not, and will not express my amusement at what blinded my once very 'virginous' eyes.....oh lawdie it truly was stunning.

Ever heard of sex on a plane....or sex in a beach....sex in an ally....sex in the office....toilet...in church (oh yeah....CU students know what i mean)...under a bridge.......yes there are countless places where that pleasure can be exercised....but for the love of me, i never thought i would pay good money to watch one; well yes we pay for porn on the internet, cable, or from some random Chinese dude on the corner yelling " one pound DVD". But no to actually watch one on stage, live girl-on-girl action. And i mean real action, with the dildo and the pounding, and the moaning (while the dj was at the back playing Oleku). It was intensed, i went there with eyes bulging and for some reason I couldn't help bt imagine hw people actually enjoy this. Would i go back there again, NO!! but people seemed to know each other by name there. Talk about being a good customer.

Don't understand Nigerians need and urge to be like the westerners. We watch things on tv and practice  them on ourselves. Sad.

But am not here to judge, neither am i here to promote the club. But for all those who know where this place is located or for those who wish to know, i really truly honestly dont know or remember the name.....something cage.....lool somewhere close to Isaac John street at Ikeja.

And if you going there tonight....hmmm have fun i guess. Lol

Prayer

LORD U HEALED D BLIND, TOOK AWAY D DARK AND GAVE THEM LIGHT;

YOU WAS THE ONLY MEANS OF PROTECTION COS YOU GAVE US SIGHT;

ALWAYS SAID IN YOUR WORDS WE GOTTA BE RIGHT;

BUT THE STREETS IS CALLING, WHAT SHOULD I DO;

SHOULD I BE A SOLDIER AND CHANGE MY ROOTS;

OR SHOULD I BE AFRAID AND WALK AWAY;

TALK TO ME LORD I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR;

WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE TIMES THAT YOU ANSWERED MY PRAYERS;

AM ON BENDED KNEES LOOK AT ME I KNOW YOU ARE THERE;

SOMETIMES IT FEELS MY SOUL IS NEGLECTED;

OTHER TIMES ITS LIKE AM STILL PROTECTED;

AM I SELFISH OR JUST PARANOID;

HEAL MA SOUL COS AM ALL ALONE WALKING IN THE SHADOWS OF DEATH;

I HOLD MY BREATHE, I AINT GOT NOTHING LEFT;

THIS ISNT THE END, ITS JUST THE BEGINNING;

FORGIVE ME LORD, I KNOW I'VE BEEN SINNING.

Today was Yesterday's Tomorrow

Martin Luther King Jr delivered the " i have a dream " speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial Washington DC during the Civil Rights March on August 28th 1963. He had a dream...that America as he saw it during his life time....would be better as what we see it as in ours'. His dream shook the world, his dream changed the world, and its from his dream that the colour of a man's skin is not a significance to what he can achieve.  Here's a few quotes from the famous speech "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."", " I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood"

  

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character".  I have a dream today.

"I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together"

Today.....yesterday's tomorrow.  They say we are tomorrow's leaders, i say we were today's leaders....cos if we keep posting everything for tomorrow and tomorrow keeps being pushed till tomorrow,  and on, and on, and on.....gosh...i guess thats why they say 'tomorrow never comes'.

But why again did i start with Martin Luther King and his speech?? Why is the " i have a dream " speech  relevant with this article?? Well last week i had a dream (sometimes we have to share our dreams with each other and hope that one day it will become a reality).

Imagine a country with no corruption from both the leaders and its citizens...i had a dream that 1 day a policeman would stop me not for what i can offer him from my pocket...but to enforce the law wherever broken. A day should come where we can rely on the power imposed on the uniforms to enforce the law of the land, and not use the guns in their hands to steal from the powerless I HAVE A DREAM

That one day i will be able to discard the generators in my house and have faith in the power sector....no more ear busting noise from generators no more using candles and flash lights in the nights....no more spoilt foods from the refrigerator I HAVE A DREAM

That one day we all would walk on level grounds and dust free roads and streets. That one day we would look back in time and say "i haven't seen a doctor in years now" all thanks to the health sector provided by the government I HAVE A DREAM

That one day, my sisters and brothers, friends and families, sons and daughters, and all Nigerians would say "i rather study at UniLag (sorry MAULag), or OAU or wherever because the level of education has ben made levelled with the ones in the west I HAVE A DREAM

That one day....our leaders will understand the meaning "to serve Nigeria with all my strength and defend her unity", a pledge they have never upheld. "one nation bond with freedom, peace, and unity" I HAVE A DREAM

That one day we will produce leaders who were once followers, who are educated, and who are ready to take their heads out of their own asses and are ready to serve their nation.

I believe that change begins from ourselves.....omg change really begins from within. After the martin luther speach, change did not take to effect immediately....tht was over 48years ago, and change is still occurring in America right nw. But this doesnt ean we need 48 years before we can experience changes, actually our change could kick off during  the next election. But nevertheless change is important and very possible.

Its time we stop dusting our problems under the carpet. Just think...Nigeria is more or less the only developing country in the world still using an open drainage system....can you imagine?? And we hope to eradicate mosquitoes?? The solution to our problems is staring us in the face.....take your head out of your ass and start brainstorming and stop waiting for tomorrow to heal today.

Da Cross

I'll carry ur cross when am done carryin mine;

cos this lyf is lyk we walkin on hidden mines;

gotta be careful, gotta have the vision;

plus every fink we did, got our decisions;

ma intuition tells me am ryt, even wen am wrong, its still a fight;

aint used to cryin in ma sleep, ma nights are deep;

aint no watered pillow, no body-guards no armoured cars, am clean;

even though they say am mean;

am like a priest, go ahead tell me ur sins;

and i'll carry it along till am deseased;

nd d day i dust...cos even trust, still got its time;

i got no tym....i'lll help u out; call me godfather i'll bail u out;

follow me nd u'll see there's a better lyf out there for u nd me;

inbetween is the link, the cross.

Am no God, judgement is for HE;

death moves in shadows, i'll provide the light;

think of me nd u'll see at night; trust in me u aint gotta fight;

am ur brother, father, cousing, or a soul train; whenever its hurting, i'll ease the pain;

Save A Soul

My first poem written in the can.... Can't stress this enough people......you are reading a blog from DaEpiphanyDoucheness

People is poor begging for help; when the storm is over, they dying for health; we still stay smiling cos we got the wealth; but when our days is over, it all starts to melt; wot wuld u do, if u culd walk in his shoes; wiv no amount of money to pay for a food; now u out on d streets seeking refuge; stopping cars and eating off the roots; getting cold cos u sleep on d road; evry second the clock ticks u wish they can see; ex friends laughing cos they aint you, stupid politicians lying they see u; wasn't ur fault, mamma raised no fool; wiv no father figure it cursed ur childhood; the world spins twice cos u aint living, lookin dead, maybe u aint eating; wuldn't feel worse if u was not breathing, i feel the pains of refugees seeking; thts why i drop some chedder when ever he come knocking; if only i could change the world i would start healing; the beggers, orphans and d lost souls; imagine all the happiness am gonna bring, knowing ma lyrics helped save a soul; i'll do this all over till u touch a soul.

What You Thot You had

Ok before you all read this, its important you understand that am in d can right now dropping a massive douche.....good nw that we have gotten that info out of the way (just so you know.....you are reading a blog from DaEpiphanyDoucheness), lets talk about #Women, and who they think they have as spouses.

*btw* The lights just went off and its kinda dark in here.....oh well least i have my Motorola Xoom tht illuminates d dark.

So women....i must say, its bad enough that we....well i was....don't know about the other readers.....its bad enough that i was made to believe that you #Women were created from me....i mean am missing a rib just cos of yall so i believe you girls owe me one.....can i hear an AMEN from the brothers.....lool

You owe me alot and am still waiting for the pay back... Buh thats not what we here talk about....moving on.

Ok so was having a convo with a female friend the other day that got me thinking. Boyfriends and PRETEND boyfriends. Hahaha i know i have raised a few eyebrows from the corner....yes i see you Chris...don't close this page cos you scared your pretend girlfriend might be suspicious....lol

Its sad when i see these girls dating that guy cos of what she sees him as rather than what he really is...and am poised to ask a very silly question....the #whatif question..example #whatif he wasnt what you thought he was... Or #whatif he is better than how you see him now....#whatif i scratch your back......would you do the same??  Lool

She thought she was dating him cos he had a range....truth was he always borrowed it whenever he had a date with her....the things we guys do to get laid is like that movie that was directed by Neil Burger....#LIMITLESS. After all Jay said it in his song P***y....thats why every baller in the world dress fly.

So what exactly do you think you have????? A man who is willing to die for you....or a man who wouldn't flinch at the thought of taking off with the next girl after you??? The answer is in the truth.

*ahhh* the lights comes on in the toilet.......

My advice....

There is fun in doing the relationship dance....you knw...where you play hard to get. Trust me...my respect for a woman goes out the door the moment i see her naked on the second date. Plus it is within this dance that you get to decipher what exactly it is that you are gonna like in him, and you get to have fun while he treats you like a lady...its only the skanks that give it on the first night.

Engage in conversations other than sex.....geez if only this generation can have something meaningful to say....they would have my attention 24/7, or am i the only one bored from all the sex talks??

The truth is, what you thought you had is nothing compared to what you really have.......#YourSelfEsteem

*Sigh*

Gotta clean up now.... Thanx for reading

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: TV host Toke Makinwa doesn't think I'm a role mode...

The first edition of the Epiphany Doucheness and i think its only right that it should be about one of the most admirable female role models i have come across with in naija..............no seriously she almost made me shed a tear....i must say, if all girls adopted this point of view.......you know what, let you all be the judge of that.
read on, while i follow her on twitter.


Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: TV host Toke Makinwa doesn't think I'm a role mode...: Ghen ghen, fight between Linda Ikeji and Toke Makinwa. Lol. Unfortunately I don't really know who she is...never met her...only seen her F...